LTBlue15

ltblue

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Untitled by LTBlue15, literature

Literature

Untitled

I have no space to talk and no right to talk about anything because everything i have to talk about will be unpaid emotional labor for the person i talk to and all i can think about are the multitudes of ways my existance is violence through the implication of threat in the context of the systemic oppression that people who look like me impose on people when they talk. I cannot be trusted, how many people have trusted someone who looks like me and been hurt. The meer implication of attraction or romantic or sexual interest is assault. The explicit question of consent for such, a threat of physical violence. The friendship beforehand, emotional coercion intended to gain trust implying the plan exists from the start. All of these are culturally informed and systemically enforced and I benefit from that system of fear. I can't be close to anyone. My relationships are predicated on implied violence. Trust in me is provided in the absence of expected violence. My friendships exist in

Epiphany by LTBlue15, literature

Literature

Epiphany

The deep purple sky bleeds at the periphery. Staring out over the still mirror, the sour taste burns my lips, and it's touching salinity encases my beard to my chin, The forest through which i stare grows thick and strong and soon i can only see the sand colored ground from which it sprouts. A larks cry rises through the air as sweet branches touch my head and spread my leaves, clasping their ends as the epiphany fades.

Heart Beat by LTBlue15, literature

Literature

Heart Beat

Every time I build my self back up, My heart beats again at these walls, the structure buckles, breaks, and falls, I find myself again wondering with a lump in my throat, if I should be fighting or if I should be righting these wrongs Or if I should put these words into songs as they escape my mind. But would they remind you. of the man you used to know. or of the man who refused to grow into a tyrant over you. Will the heart, by beating, break? Or in fighting, biting, flailing, foaming, with all the passion inside burning, somehow show it's worth the time it'd take, to get to know me once again. Has it been too long to talk? Have too many wo

Frustration and Detainment by LTBlue15, literature

Memories by LTBlue15, literature

Literature

Memories

Memories of nothing keep playing through my mind but the events I wish to keep I simply cannot find These places and faces all seem to pass like the windows of a train, leaving me much too fast. My mind is never here and now. It is always back then and there, and then isn't there. The future is based on the present, The present is formed by the past, And if that past is not there, There is nothing left but air.

Boundaries by LTBlue15, literature

Literature

Boundaries

Our existence is defined by boundaries. These boundaries tell us and those around us who we are. If we are to push these boundaries we expand ourselves. To push another boundary is to limit them or diminish them, to pull is to shape them. We can pull back our own boundaries to give them space, but this will cause wild growth and sometimes even bad growth. Boundaries are not bad things, nor is helping others establish or push their own, but we must not think that our current boundaries are our full potential, Nor that we have the right to destroy or build the boundaries of others as we see fit. No we must be like trees. We start of with a s

Loves Touch by LTBlue15, literature

What We Are by LTBlue15, literature

Literature

What We Are

What are we? Is that what you wish to know? Many have tried to answer this question and it seems that all have failed, We destroy ourselves and then obsess over the fact that we are nothing, We create things just so that they can be destroyed, Those that some hail as hero's are often despised by others to be evil, We are so concentrated on believing that everything that we do is right that we justify things that we know are wrong and evil just so that we don't have to answer to ourselves. Do we ever tire of it? Do we repent to ourselves, each other, our gods or anyone? Rarely and when we do we then turn around and do exactly what we

all that i do by LTBlue15, literature

Literature

all that i do

How is it that i have become as i am. So destructive and forceful? I do not create art but butcher the practice. With my small ineffectual attempts to change myself i destroy my determination. With the movements of the brush my canvas becomes darker. There is no way to paint white onto this rendering of my soul. my shame is forever immortalized within the lives and minds of others. My own construction this is. My own fate wrought, and yet it effects so many lives. We are never the only ones to be affected by our actions, never alone in our misery or punishment. The consequences of my actions resonate the web that is life and trembles everyone

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Untitled by LTBlue15, literature

Literature

Untitled

Epiphany by LTBlue15, literature

Literature

Epiphany

Heart Beat by LTBlue15, literature

Literature

Heart Beat

Frustration and Detainment by LTBlue15, literature

Memories by LTBlue15, literature

Literature

Memories

when we met by LTBlue15, literature

Literature

when we met

When we first met i didn't know you but it felt as though i did as we talked i felt more and more as though you were the one others may have showen me to you, the one i love. but you and i we chose to talk and stay with one another until to talk it was up to me when we first met i didn't know you but i looked into your deep blue eyes and i knew that you could make me feel when i was trying not to you opened the cage that i locked and set my emotions free but now i need to find you so we may meet again, For without you that cage is locked, And only wisps escape, i will always remember when we first met

why don't i by LTBlue15, literature

Literature

why don't i

Why don't i, Why don't i know, Why i don't just call you, All i have to do it call your uncle, his number is here, and him i could ask, "what's Robbies number?", than i can call your dad, and this i could ask, "whats your ex's number", and your mother i could call, and then i could ask, what would i ask, "am i a bother?" "do you remember me. the boy who loved your daughter, and yet he never called?" it's my fault thats what i come back to, that i said i loved you and yet what did i do? nothing!!! i know i must be a bother, but now i feel as though, i am only to hurt you further, if i find you, and call you, and brin

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Mastr13lue by LTBlue15, visual art

Mastr13lue

LTBlue15

About LTBlue15

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United States
Deviant for 17 years
He / Him

Badges

birthdAy '09: Enjoys birthday shenanigans

My Bio

Some people enjoy sports. The rush of a 250 pound giant tackling another 220 pound giant, the excitement of watching 5-10 minutes of people beating each other in a controlled environment, the... well i'm sorry i don't know whaty racing fans get out of watching people make left turns but the speed must be something cool. Well what i enjoy is watching people make a more beautiful world, and sometimes helping them do so. This is a sport of world changers.

Current Residence: Muskegon
Favourite genre of music: rock/ alternative
Favourite style of art: anime/manga
Operating System: win XP

Favourite Visual Artist

MC Escher

Favourite Movies

the matrix and that one cool one with the girl and that one guy

Other Interests

computers food and finding a job

Posts

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LTBlue15

Nov 18, 2013

Devious Journal Entry

0 min read

I used to, for some reason, admire the quality of people who refused to compete. I thought that their refusal, that my refusal, was the refusal to confine others to a system of conformity where they would be rated solely on the comparison between their skill in one singular area when they are lacking or stronger in others and thus are allowed to continue or fall behind and become a less well rounded individual, with strength in singular areas and deep character or skill flaws in others. I believed that it was this system which causes some to define themselves as subordinate and unable to lead. Recently, however, it was that i refused to "com

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LTBlue15

Aug 6, 2010

Work

0 min read

Well i'm working 50+ hours a week, never have the time to read, write, or do artwork. Soon though, soon i will have the time to upload the art i did when i was in California. till then TTYL.

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LTBlue15

Feb 1, 2010

Philosophy for Life and Living (for they differ)

0 min read

It has come to my attention, Through numerous specific situations and reports, that many people in this world are worried about the concept of reality and the meaning of life. Many have subscribed to philosophies without attempting to create their own, i have purposefully attempted to understand myself without researching philosophy so as to create my own being unpolluted by others. I am not one to foist my beliefs onto others but I do like to help others. I am therefore embarking on a journey through my own philosophy in an attempt to better understand myself and help others to create their own philosophies. I hope to not pollute others thou